


SBURB DLC: "Cops and Robbers"

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Gen, Not Set in Brockton Bay, The Windy Thing (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Enjoy a world of rogues and villains, heroes and monsters. New features in this update include:*CARRY OVER OLD SAVEGAMES, putting iconic characters you know and love into a richly detailed new setting: the Wormverse. Players familiar with Skaianet Systems' smash hit HOMESTUCK will enjoy seeing their favorite characters in a mysterious setting. New players with experience in Wildbow's cult-classic WORM will discover new champions in a familiar framework!*THE PROTECTORATE, the heroic option. Weave your way through complex office politics, or crusade to defeat terrifying and unique villains!*Diverse CUSTOMIZABLE POWERS, letting you be the Cape you always dreamed of. THINKER, SHAKER, MASTER, or something else entirely? The choice is yours!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Act 1 Act 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first serious attempt at writing fanfiction, so give as much constructive criticism as you can! Everything is appreciated :)

The bland, grey building looms before you.

Walking towards the entrance, you can't help but feel a bit nervous. You remind yourself that you're supposed to be here- that this is where you're planning your career and your future.

Still, would it have killed them to make the Protectorate base for the entire region a bit less ominous? Whatever.

Entering the monolith, you approach the check-in desk. Your interview is in a few minutes- looks like you’ve arrived just in time. You walk towards Redglare's office, and wow it's so amazing to just be casually thinking that. Any kid your age would give their right arm for a chance to meet Redglare herself, and here you are, sidling up to her like you own the place.

Setting that train of thought aside for the moment, you approach the official-looking mahogany door.

"Come in!" you hear from within the room. Redglare glances up from her desk as you enter. The first impression you have of the Protectorate leader's cramped little office is _a mess_. Paperwork is piled on every flat surface and even tacked to the walls. To the side, a bulletin board details profiles and connections of the major villains throughout the city. At the center of the chaos is Seattle's oldest superhero, currently typing with one hand and filling out some sort of form with the other, still looking at you. You're not sure if you're awed or amused by the display of power.

Redglare sets down her pen. "You're here to formally enter the team?" You murmur your assent. "Cool. Your meeting with PR and Image is in a couple hours. In the meantime, you can meet the other Wards." She slips off her iconic red glasses, revealing milky grey eyes. She’s surprisingly young- when she started her career in the early nineties, you realize, she would have been even younger than you are now. "Tess Pyrope. It's nice to meet you."

You stand slackjawed for a moment. The living legend herself just casually unmasked to you. You pull yourself together for long enough to mumble a response. "Uh, John Egbert... nice to meet you, too. Y-Yes, I want to meet the others."

Redglare- Tess- types a short message, shuts her laptop, and nods. "Their base is in this building." She writes down directions for a short path through the hallways and hands you the paper. "Tell Dave I said hi!" You nod eagerly, then shuffle out of the office awkwardly.

_That wasn't much of an interview..._

Eventually, you arrive at the Wards' headquarters. You knock politely on the sturdy-looking door.

Two muffled voices, a guy and a girl, are talking. You try to focus on the fine air movements in the room to find out what they're saying, but it's garbled with the other sounds and movement in the building... you’ll be able to do that trick someday, but not right now. After a minute, the guy walks up to the door, but doesn’t open it.

???: wards speaking, i’d like to pick up a large cheese pizza

His accent is unusual- something in between a Southwestern twang and a midwest drawl.

???: Let the poor boy in, David.

???: who is this

JOHN: uh, i’m john.

JOHN: the new ward!

???: if you say so

The door opens, revealing a slim guy a bit taller than you and a large room behind him. He is wearing a domino mask, ostensibly to protect his civilian identity.

???: name’s dave. nice to meet you

JOHN: likewise!

???: And I’m Rose. The other member of our merry band is Jade. She’ll be back in a little while.

DAVE: new kid huh

DAVE: what are your powers

JOHN: i can control and sense the wind.

JOHN: like this!

You send a gust across the room to rustle your new companions’ hair. As he was already leaning to the side, Dave is taken off-balance and nearly falls flat on his back. He takes off his mask and makes brief, uncomfortable eye contact with you.

DAVE: if i may descend a bit into the depths of irony here

DAVE: that was sicknasty

JOHN: so, what do you guys do?

DAVE: im a tinker

DAVE: weird time shit, any kind. future clones? fast forwarding? you name it

DAVE: each device is lovingly strider-crafted and takes about an entire building’s worth of electricity per use

ROSE: As for me? I see... futures. Possibilities.

DAVE: oh come ON

ROSE: Fine. Whenever I see something happen, my power tells me how important it is, and whether it’s “good” or not.

You sense a slight disturbance in the air near you. Space bubbles and expands, revealing a tear in what seems to be the very fabric of reality. Staticky green and yellow lines flash across it. A short, stocky girl in an elaborate black costume squeezes through and starts talking to you excitedly.

JADE: dave! you won’t BELIEVE this!!

JADE: ...you’re not dave

You explain, for the third time today, that you’re the newest Ward. Jade introduces herself as well, pulling off her costume’s hood overdramatically.

ROSE: So that’s all of us.

JOHN: isn’t there a fourth ward? i could have sworn i remember another one from the website...

The other three exchange meaningful glances.

JADE: i mean... we can introduce you if you really want!!

JADE: but be warned

JADE: shes a bit, ah…

DAVE: vriskas an absolute weirdo

DAVE: you two will get along perfectly

He guides you down to a door on the other end of the room, barely leaving you time to wonder- _what kind of a name is “Vriska”?_ \- and knocks on the door.

???: H8y! Wh8t is it?

Her voice has an unusually piercing quality.

DAVE: new ward wants to meet you

He turns to you.

DAVE: oh i forgot to tell you, she’s a-

The door opens.


	2. Act 1 Act 2

Once you’ve recovered from the shock of meeting a real live Case-53 Monster Cape (just day one and all this is happening!), you can see what the others meant about Vriska. Even without considering her horns and gray skin, something is odd about the mutant. Nevertheless, Dave’s prediction comes true and she seems to at least tolerate you. The rest of the day goes by quickly. Though you don’t get to talk much with any of your new friends, you do exchange Parahumans Online accounts.

The power analysis team tests you for a while and eventually gives you the incomprehensible code of “shaker 5 (thinker 1)”, which you add to a growing mental list of Cape Stuff You Will Have To Look Up Later.

You call your dad and he picks you up. It feels weird to be driven home after meeting with such powerful people as an equal.

Over dinner, you chat with your dad about your day. You talk about all the cool people, your new coworkers, but he seems to be more concerned with whether all your crime-fighting will be safe.

dad, i’ll be fine! you say. it’s not like i’m going up against the slaughterhouse nine here. it’ll just be like fighting normal crime, but i can always just fly away.

“I know, John. I just... feel like you’ve been growing up so fast. You have a job now. I got my first job at nineteen. I know...” He lapses into silence for a second. “I know you have the obligation to use your abilities. With great power, comes greater responsibility, and all that. But I’m just saying...” He leans in for a hug, and you oblige. “You’re a teenager, you’re bound to be independent and rebellious. Just know that if you’re ever too scared- if something seems too tough for you to handle- I’ll always be there. Remember, you’re not invincible.” He musses up your hair, earning a grumble, and you both finish eating in relative silence. His gaze is one of stern fatherly admiration.

You go to bed. As you’re about to fall asleep, your phone buzzes from across the room, a text from a school friend. You move to get it, then remember that you don’t even need to lift a finger. A gust of air whooshes the phone towards you smoothly. As you try to catch it, though, the device hits your chin sharply.

You’ll get that one right next time.

////

You don’t see or talk with the other Wards much for the next few days, which pass quickly, up until the hours before your official introduction to the public. It's going to be held on a makeshift stage in a park somewhere downtown. On the day of the event, you wake up early and reach the Protectorate building at 7:30 AM, despite your pleas to your dad that the event is in two hours and you won’t have anything to do- it’s Saturday, so the Wards will be out and the Protectorate members will all be fighting daytime crime. You show your ID to the people at the front desk and shuffle down to the Wards common room with a vague intention of getting some work done on one of the computers.

You don’t expect anyone to be there, so it’s a surprise when you see both Jade and Vriska, playing video games on the television on the common room’s far wall.

JADE: hi john! nice to see you again!

VRISKA: H8y, why are you here today? Just felt like dropping 8y?

JOHN: no, today’s my official public introduction.

JOHN: ...why are you guys here?

JADE: i live here! so does vriska!

JOHN: why? don’t you have a fam-

You cut yourself off. _Stupid! Obviously a touchy subject for her!_

JADE: a family? no, not that i know of!

JADE: remember my power? i can teleport anywhere!

JADE: i didnt always have that ability!

JADE: when i was really little, i went on a boat trip with my grandpa in the north pacific, but our ship sank in a storm

JADE: and suddenly i wasnt on the deck, i was on a little island somewhere! i remember that moment as clear as if it was yesterday

JADE: eventually i teleported to the nearest mainland and made my way back to civilization

JADE: tragic backstory aside, i dont have an official guardian, so i stay here and get parented collectively by the protectorate members!

JOHN: don’t you-

JADE: feel sensitive about grandpa? he was a sailor at heart

JADE: i miss him so much, but better to die doing what he loved than in a hospital bed or something

You grimace almost involuntarily, then turn to Vriska.

VRISKA: You want me to explain all the shit th8’s happened to me? Do you have a few _days?_

Point taken.

You join in the game they were playing earlier, whiling away an hour, then come down to the park for your public reveal. You meet up with Dave, Rose, and the members of the Protectorate on your way out. The event itself will be small, so you’re pretty certain that absolutely nothing bad will happen at all.

You hear a distant explosion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on SBURB: four familiar faces (no, not those four)


End file.
